Empowering Women of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence: The Importance of Polygraph Tests for Healing
In this blog, we will discuss how taking a polygraph (lie detector) test with an experienced polygraph examiner can empower women who have been victims of sexual assault, sexual abuse, and domestic violence. We will explore why this process is so crucial for their healing journey.
With over 30 years of experience in criminal law enforcement as an investigator, over 22 years of advanced experience in polygraph testing as a State-Licensed, Advanced Board-Certified Polygraph Examiner, and expertise in child and adult sexual abuse, I have had the opportunity to interview and test thousands of minors and adults, including many women and men who have been victims of sexual assault and abuse. Throughout my career, I have conducted these tests primarily to assist in legal and civil matters, but most importantly, to aid in the victims' healing processes. I will explain why this is so important and the true purpose behind these polygraph tests.
Understanding Child Sexual Abuse
It is essential to understand that what is written in this blog may not exactly mirror your experiences or those of someone you know, but the situations may appear similar in nature.
Have you been a minor, subjected to inappropriate sexual behavior or acts by someone you knew, such as a family member or a trusted individual? Did you ever tell anyone about these alleged incidents, only to be met with disbelief or accusations of lying? If this sounds familiar, you are not alone, and I want to be the first to tell you that you will not be the last. Many others are going through the same roller coaster of emotions.
Emotional scars from such experiences can linger, causing more profound pain than any physical marks left on your body. Emotional pain can torture in ways many cannot comprehend or fathom.
Factors Behind the Disbelief of Children's Abuse Stories
Many children and minors are not believed when they share their stories of abuse. There are several reasons for this:
History of Lying: The child or minor may have been prone to lying about small things, leading to disbelief when something truly important comes up. Their real story is not believed because of their previous lies.
Lack of Importance: The child or minor may not be considered important by the individual they confide in.
Family Dynamics: Another factor is that the mother may be dating or married to someone who is the primary provider for the family or who has significantly improved their living environment compared to their previous conditions. When a major accusation is made against this provider, it can destabilize the entire family dynamic. Consequently, the alleged victim may be called a liar, told to keep quiet, or blamed for causing trouble in the relationship between the mother and her partner. The victim then has to endure the trauma in silence, often for years, until they are old enough to seek help or tell the right person. If the abuse continues, the victim will face repeated trauma.
This situation is reminiscent of the fable "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," where repeated false alarms led to the boy's cries for help being ignored when he truly needed it.
The story goes like this: A young boy lived on a farm with his family near a creek. His parents warned him not to go down to the creek because of dangerous wolves. One day, the boy thought it would be funny to cry "Wolf!" as loudly as he could. The farm workers immediately dropped what they were doing and ran to his aid, only to find him laughing and saying it was a joke. He was scolded for this prank.
A few days later, the boy repeated the joke, and again, everyone rushed to help him. He laughed again, and this time, he was punished more severely. The following week, the boy went to the creek and encountered a real wolf. He cried "Wolf!" as loudly as he could, but this time, no one came to help him. Later that evening, when he didn't return home for dinner, a search party found his tattered clothing, but the boy was gone.
The moral of the story is clear: if you frequently lie about serious matters, people will not believe you when you are telling the truth. Similarly, children who have lied previously may struggle to be believed when they disclose genuine abuse.
Taking Back Your Power as an Adult
As an adult, it’s crucial to take back what was taken from you and prove you were a victim. It may be too late to prosecute, depending on the jurisdiction, as some states have no statute of limitations on sexual abuse. However, standing up for yourself now, as an adult, and seeking healing is vital. You will be a better person in the long run, knowing you were telling the truth and now have proof.
Navigating Abuse and Domestic Violence: Challenges Faced by Women in Marriages
Let’s talk about adult women in marriages. Many women enter marriages full of hope and excitement, expecting a life filled with love, mutual respect, and shared dreams. Unfortunately, for some, this dream can turn into a nightmare as the relationship evolves into a cycle of abuse. Understanding the journey from love to abuse is crucial in recognizing the signs and taking steps to protect oneself.
Finding That Special Someone: You find that special someone. You may have met them in school, as co-workers, through a friend, at a club, social event, on social media, or a dating site. Regardless of how you met, you found someone special. The dating period is wonderful, full of joy, laughter, great sex, and shared goals and dreams. You take the next big step and get married.
The Change in the Relationship: After a few years, things change, as everything in life does. But this time, it's different. It’s not just a new hairstyle or a few extra pounds. There is verbal abuse, maybe some physical abuse, and then sexual abuse. Unwanted physical sexual acts are done to you by that special someone who has now become mean, degrading, and only wants to be close to you for sexual purposes.
The Cycle of Hope and Abuse: Over time, you sit alone and pray, hoping your significant other will turn back to the person you once fell in love with. There are glimpses of hope when they come home and there is no strife or degrading comments. There are even fun times and laughter. Yet, it quickly returns to verbal abuse, maybe physical abuse, and ultimately sexual abuse.
The Struggle of Confiding in Others: You are afraid to tell anyone, or you may have told close friends or family. Their advice might be sympathetic, but they often suggest that you already know what you need to do. Yet, you remain loyal and love your significant other, always hoping things will change. There may even be some infidelity on your partner’s part that you have rectified in the past, or you may have blamed yourself for. Because in reality, who wants to engage in sexual acts with someone who is mean, degrades you, calls you names, or abuses you? The answer is no one. No man or woman does. So, you refuse sex or intimacy. But after discovering your partner’s infidelity, you may blame yourself for withholding intimacy, affection, and sex. Then things change for a while; sex is great, time spent together is wonderful, and there is hope for a renewed relationship. It is like the honeymoon phase all over again. This lasts for a few months to a few years but then reverts to hell all over again.
The Decision to Separate: Verbal or sexual abuse may occur again. Now, you or your partner may decide it’s time to part ways. So, you may separate. What now? You blame yourself because no one wants to feel like they failed at marriage. But in the end, anyone who cheats on their partner is selfish and only thinks of themselves. Likewise, anyone who abuses their partner is not fully committed to the relationship and has checked out long ago. So, stop blaming yourself. Yes, it takes two to make a relationship and two to break one up. But ultimately, one person is more responsible for the breakup than the other. In the long run, one partner will blame the other for various issues to gain sympathy, monetary possessions, custody of children, and the home.
Navigating Abuse and Domestic Violence: Challenges Faced by Women in Marriages
It is imperative that you stand up for yourself. How, you may ask? First, it may be past the timeframe for any legal ramifications to press charges for a criminal act. But it is never too late to prove that things have been done to you for the sake of healing and to prove you are not a liar. You are not the cause of the dissolution of the relationship, and you endured abuse if this is what you allege.
Words are words. So, how do you prove this? Start by finding an experienced polygraph examiner who has worked with experienced, high-level family and marital attorneys familiar with polygraph test results. After this, seek out a polygraph examiner who thoroughly questions you and, once you receive those questions, schedule a polygraph examination. If you are telling the complete truth and pass the polygraph test, your world will be forever changed from that day forward. The polygraph test can be therapeutic, providing a sense of relief and empowerment that is beyond what you can imagine.
You will be empowered to move forward, no longer being called a liar or defined as a victim. Instead, you will be seen as someone who was once a victim but is now strong, capable of reclaiming their strength and looking ahead. Your children, grandchildren, family members, and friends will see you as the happy person they once knew. You will finally become the "ME" you have been searching for. Polygraph tests are more than what you see in TV shows and movies, especially when you choose an experienced examiner with years of expertise in these matters. Trust in who you are and know that you were not a victim before you met your significant other but became one during the relationship. After taking a polygraph test, you will no longer be that victim. You will gain the closure you need to prove your integrity and move on in life, enjoying it as it is meant to be.
Do your due diligence and thoroughly research to find a well-qualified, experienced examiner who specializes in these kinds of issues for both minors and adults. This will help you get the real answers and closure you need to move past your trauma, allowing you to enjoy life today, tomorrow, and forever.
If Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service can assist you with your polygraph needs or answer any questions related to polygraph testing, do not hesitate to call to schedule your polygraph examination with us.
Take the pivotal step towards peace of mind by connecting with Mr. David Goldberg, the founder of Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service. With over a combined 30 years of experience in administering polygraph examinations as an Advanced Board-Certified Polygraph Examiner and Investigator, Mr. David Goldberg brings unparalleled expertise.
Our mission at Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service is clear: to eliminate doubts and ensure you find the closure you deserve to move forward in your life. Specializing in comprehensive and confidential polygraph examinations, we serve clients in Hampton Roads, including Virginia Beach, Norfolk, Chesapeake, Portsmouth, Newport News, Suffolk, Hampton, and beyond. Led by Mr. David Goldberg, a Virginia State Licensed Advanced Board-Certified Polygraph Examiner and nationally recognized expert, our commitment is to deliver immediate, reliable, and accurate results.
To explore how we can assist you further, review our polygraph services or call Executive Protection Group Polygraph Service today to schedule your polygraph examination. Take the first step towards resolution and peace of mind with us.
